We're all big fans of Ray Mears in this house, so it's nice to see most commenters plumping for him, though one reckons Chuck Norris has them both beat - he even presents a series of propositions in support of that contention (I've heard a bunch of these from the boys):-
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
