Today's lesson

From Damon Runyon's "The Idyll of Miss Sarah Brown":-

Son, no matter how far you travel, or how smart you get, always remember this: Some day, somewhere, a guy is going to come to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is never broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that the jack of spades will jump out of this deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not bet him, for a sure as you do you are going to get an earful of cider.

Quoted in "Big Deal" by Anthony Holden.