Lewis-Smith recently proclaimed one of his rules, that everyone who was at Oxford would announce that fact within 11 minutes of the start of any conversation.I've seen that happen.
Years ago, when I worked in banking, one of my clients invited me to play for the President's XI in a cricket match against his local village team. As well as being club president, he owned the cricket ground, most of the village, the land that surrounded it and the biggest "farmhouse" I have ever seen. Nice fellow - landed gentry, Eton and Oxford, you know the sort. He was the best of it.
Anyway, the cricket was rained off, but it was the evening before that I'll never forget. We were having tea on the terrace overlooking the croquet lawn when one of my client's old friends arrives unexpectedly. The fellow sits down and our host goes off to get another cup and saucer, and some more tea.
So we're sitting there, sinking into the awkward silence of the recently introduced, when he turns to me and asks, out of the blue: "Which school did you go to?"
I tell him I went to a Catholic college.
"David and I were at Eton together" he says. Then asks "Where you at Oxford or Cambridge?
I tell him I did a vocational degree at Lancaster.
"Oh," he says, obviously nonplussed. "You're not local. Are you?"
No, I say, we're just up for the weekend.
Another pause.
Then, after some thought, he leans forward in earnest and says:
"Well then - if you don't mind telling me - how the deuce do you know David?"
Of course, I was far too polite to say it was because I'd lent him money. There are some things one just doesn't talk about.
